Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in invisibleentity's LiveJournal:

Sunday, October 1st, 2006
10:28 pm	Told i'm an adult yet treated like a child.. So i'm practically 18, which they say is an adult..but yet they still dont tell me whats wrong. They say i'm old enough to know...so why not tell me? Its messing my head up, and i really didnt need any help with that! Its messed up enough already. On the 'love' front...i saw him...he will from now on be reffered to as V-S-B...anyone who knows me will understand that. The reason for no text back...no credit. So i over-reacted...there's a surprise! I'm worried about someone very very close to me. There's something wrong with her, and i dont know what. Nobody will tell me. I dont want to know, but then again i do. I think, if i'm told what's wrong, it makes it real. And i dont want it to be real. I can pretend nothings happening if i'm not actually told that it is. Hearing it out loud makes it an actuality, and i dont want that. Not right now. I need to focus on me right now. I'm in such a weird place right now. I want to be treated like an adult, but its so much easier to be treated like a child. No decisions, and responsibilities...someone else always making your mind up for you...and no consequences for me because someone else made the decision. But then again, i need the freedom of being an adult. I need my own identity. I dont want to be 'the daughter' or the 'step-sister' or the 'niece' or any of that. I want to be me, in my own right...but i cant..i'll always be seen as the titles. Which is sometimes easier than being the individual. I guess the name 'invisible entity' really applies...i'm an individual in theory, but no-one sees that...and so, in fact, I am invisible... But the fall back is on me. If i was supposed to do something etc and its not done, i get the blame. But how can i be expected to fill both roles? How can i be the child AND the adult? I cant look after myself and yet still be looked after by everyone else. Its confusing and irritating, and the worst part is, there's nothing i can do about it. Because after all...who listens to a child? This has been a load of mixed up ramblings. If its not comprehendable, thats understandable! Current Mood: confused Current Music: None (Comment on this)
Monday, September 25th, 2006
11:05 pm	Why??? Why the fuck do girls bother liking guys? I mean..seriously, unless you're lucky enough to find one of the few good ones, there's no point...they all fuck around with you!! Theyre so frustratingly confusing!! Why be sooo nice and lovely, and then dont return my texts? Whats the point in making me do cartwheels in my head?! Gah i'm so pissed off, and i know i could be overreacting, but its so much easier to overreact than to think rationally. WHY is the glass always half empty with me...?! Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: None (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 24th, 2006
12:46 am	Feeling crap Oh..i feel so bad for no apparent reason at all...i hate this. Why do i have to be such a fucking loser?!?!?! I'm always doing this, going on complete downers, and i doubt everyone, myself most of all...its like a downward slope... (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
6:26 pm	Mood: Pissed off...well there's a surprise!! Ok...nice way to start this...in a not so great mood. Everything annoys and completely irritates me when i think about them...if that makes any sense at all... There's 'him'...why is there always a 'him'...who i'm besotted with, and who, as far as i can see (despite claiming otherwise) doesnt give a shit about me...and much as i tell myself to forget him and move on, i find i cant...which is depressing and pathetic... Then of course, there's the family...the suffocating mother, who doesnt want me to breathe unless she knows about it...i'm 17, why treat me like i'm 7? less than that in fact...i find it so stiffling and its making me miserable... Then the 'other life' of my dad and his fiancee and her kids...one question...why does everyone feel they need to shout to be heard? Its the most idiotic thing ever...if you shout at someone, they dont listen, they just feel the need to shout back even louder, until no-body hears anyone, and I feel like i'm sitting in a war zone and just want to get out. I need peace. I need space! I know my problems are insignificant in the scheme of things, but sometimes they smother me and i just want to leave it all... Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: None (Comment on this)
6:14 pm	Completely new to this Anyone feel like befriending a complete newcomer? (1 Comment |Comment on this)